His addiction also affects our social life - he never wants to do anything on weekend-days other than sit at home and smoke and play video games.If we do go out with friends (rare because he never wants to), we have to rush home early because he wants to smoke.
I feel so frustrated because I don't understand how he CAN'T control it. I almost blame myself for not accepting his addiction, but why should I have to do that? Post edited by: bfisanaddict, at: 11/11/2013 PM bfisanaddict, Welcome! Every time I talked to my dad, he asked me - why are your hurting yourself? Not to them, not to "make them", but chose what YOU WANT based on everything else around you. It all boils down to how much you respect YOURSELF. You can decide not to deal with him while it's hurting you, but you chose to stay.
I do wish he would just stop smoking, but I have a feeling that will never happen. Why are you remaining in situation that's harmful to you, where you're not happy. I HIGHLY recommend reading "Codependent no more" by Melody Beattie.
All of his friends smoke weed, so I am the only person in his life working against it. And I'd respond - it's not my fault, if only my husband changes, it won't be miserable anymore. This book stated my life transformation towards taking a better care of MYSELF.
I wish we could have a balance and compromise, i.e he only smoked 3 times a week or a certain amount of weed a week. But why would he change if it already worked for him the way it was. Don't wait for others to take care of you and what what you expect from them.
He's so wonderful when he's sober, but it's so rare, that I question if I really even know him anymore. I had to change first, so that keeping things the way they were wasn't possible for him anymore. You're staying in a situation that hurts you, you're hurting yourself, how do you expect OTHERS to protect you better than you do it for yourself?