The truth is: that you feel so bad inside you can’t tolerate adding anything more to the pile of bad.
Defensiveness means it’s harder to absorb honest feedback from others.
Defensiveness means you easily & quickly feel “attacked” or misunderstood.
Being defensive means the walls of the castle are high, the alligators are in the moat & it is very unlikely you can take in another point of view.
Protecting your point of view is really all that matters.
Old, stale beliefs deserve to be altered because they are defensive and preventing growth.