While we should all be willing to do our duty and serve if we can, sometimes you just need a way out.
A first date is loaded with expectancy – will she/he like me and will I like them?
If you do like each other, you can either extend the date, or plan a longer one for next time. Try and avoid very noisy places (where you can’t hear each other), cinemas (where you can’t talk), sporting events (unless you know for a fact that they are interested), or your home (because it could be risky if you don’t know them). Make an effort with your appearance - but not so much of an effort that your date wouldn’t recognise you if they bumped into you in the street the next day.
If you already know the person and are pretty certain that you both like each other then by all means go for the big romantic gesture. My husband turned up for our second date with a bottle of wine, flowers and a box of chocolate biscuits, but soon realised he only had two hands and decided to leave the biscuits in the car! Making an effort shows that you care and that you want to make a good impression.
It doesn’t cost you anything, and it will make a big difference to the other person’s enjoyment of the date. Early on in their relationship Jack said something like this to Susan: ‘I don’t know if we’ll get married in the future but I want to treat you so well that if we split up one day and you end up marrying someone else – I would be able to look the other guy in the eye, shake his hand and say: “Here is Susan, I looked after her for you.”’ They did end up marrying each other but I thought that was an amazing thing to say. But wouldn’t it be fantastic if people were better off in life from having spent time with you, not worse off?
That means being kind and considerate and treating your date as you would like to be treated yourself.
Too much emotional baggage, too soon, is never attractive. A first date is not the time to try out being the person you’d like to be, or the person you think your date would like you to be.