Even though I had caffeine-withdrawal headaches every day and felt emotionally unsatisfied, I couldn’t bring myself to end our relationship.
However, after I arrived at MIT, I started cheating on Four Hours of Sleep with Eight Hours of Sleep, and I realized what I was missing — what it’s like to be in a healthy relationship.
Recognizing the importance of preserving my hands for future relationships with computer keyboards and gaming consoles, we broke up.
While it was incredibly expensive, I nevertheless decided it would be mine one day. When I was in elementary school, my friends and I created the Idaho Potatomen Club.
After a full year of waking up early enough to spend time on Neopets before school, I finally earned enough Neopoints to buy the Wand of Nova. One of our favorite recess activities was playing a game we invented called Physical Contact in Idaho, in which we would throw antibacterial hand wipes in the air and at each other and attempt to catch them.
I developed a number of creative ways to keep myself busy during class, such as writing on my pants.
One of my favorite activities was playing with my hands.
Unfortunately, my relationship with Playing With My Hands was just too much for me to endure physically.