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Seven years ago I decided I needed to get over my ex. Back then, internet dating felt like a realm reserved for the desperate. Dimensions being a new way to market the human character. He’d even worked as a journalist for Christian magazines. Writer Guy: Think “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.” I’d like to have most of it erased.

It had been five months since we broke up, and he managed to meet someone the following week. Mail-order brides, ex-nuns with facial hair, obese IT nerds who live alternate lives online as robo-cut Japanese animé heroes.

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In those ten free days I saw the same guys on line. That means, skip the multiple choice questions and go right to the dowry requirements.

Several month later, Christian Café sent me ten free days to try to get me to come back. Christian Café kept stalking me, luring me in with ten free days, then five. A 45-year old Indian physics professor named Sanjee wanted to fast track me.

How sad is that, to flip back every few months and see that no one wants Mister Right? Roommate: Well, to e Harmony, crazy and artist are the same thing. I’d rather be crazy and interesting, than sane and dull. I saw him at a distance at this wealthy church on Mulholland Drive. Maybe he’d seen me at a distance too, and decided I was too old, since I was out of high school. Two years later, Mister Right was still up for grabs. But had just had an endoscopy and was drugged on Percoset. Men who were never brave enough to admit that, sometimes life sucks and doesn’t make sense.

This time I asked my roommate how she knew they rejected people they thought were “crazy.” Roommate: They rejected me. Susan: That’s not because you’re crazy, that’s because you’re an artist. He seemed cool, but some of his pictures looked a little narcissistic. He kept flipping his hair and checking out the high school aged ‘babes.’ He never emailed me back. I got matched with nice Christian mojo-free men who worked in the Air Force or computer sales.

Throughout your e Harmony experience I would urge you to be as open and honest as possible. The greatest blessing is for someone to know your every fault and love you all the more. If you are a shorter man, some women are going to close you out because of your height.

Last modified 15-Jun-2017 15:36