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I could second guess “If I knew then what I know now,” and beat myself up over all of the shoulda woulda coulda’s and believe me, I have.

I would much rather explore and examine, from the perspective of being on the other side of the experience, not just what I want, but what I want, even though relationship experts generally encourage focus on the positive.

When you are scrolling through Instagram, would you rather see lots of posts from close friends, or from celebs you've never met? Would you rather be forced to drink a Frappuccino every day FOR ETERNITY or never be able to drink a Frappuccino again? Would you rather have someone give you $100 or have everyone in your class get $10?

What's worse — constantly posting selfies, or NOT posting selfies just because you care too much about what people think of your selfies? Would you rather have an internship with a cool boss who gives you lots of praise — but you don't really learn that much — or a hard-ass boss who never gives compliments, but teaches you a ton?

The professional interviewer in me laughs at the Ally Mc Beal internal dialog absurdity of that scenario.

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As a minister who has married over 300 couples since 1999, I have witnessed this dynamic with many of them.

Last modified 14-Jul-2016 08:01